Menen Incorporates Himself

I arrived at group therapy dripping sweat since I left late and had to peddle like Eliot from E.T. to make it on time. As I dabbed my forehead with a paper towel the man next to me whom I lovingly call "No Topic", (as it is often difficult for me to figure out what he is trying to say) yammered away about a guy he met exactly six days ago. He said Prince Charming has Attention-deficit hyperactivity disorder (ADHD) and can be somewhat difficult to have a conversation with - at least for any length of time. No Topic is pondering if ADHD guy will be his next boyfriend.

Having returned to a normal body temperature, my powers of deductive reasoning at full throttle, I was thinking, "Six days?" So I uttered my first words of the evening. "Last week your boyfriend of several years, left you. Do you think it is possible that you're pulling a rebound with this guy?"

It seemed to register.

Frankly, No Topic's six days would be an exercise in restraint for me. Many times I have met a man, and within hours or days he was "My Boyfriend". Some of those relationships lasted a week, others months. The record is eight months. All ended as quickly as they began, and each time I had the audacity to be surprised at the outcome.

Corporations often have a ninety-day probationary period for new employees so both parties can assess if the relationship will work. Maybe No Topic and I should adopt a similar policy. Perhaps I should even incorporate myself.